Lucien Carr by 댄딜라이언 (Dandelion; 2020)
Defection of your patience
(kiss me more dirty, kick me more dirty)
Blue nation of temptation
(licking her money, lack of true story)
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Combine my old memories
Stop messing around here
Awakening of predation
Don't spit on my fool journal
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEmvCpaTk-E
"Lucien Carr" is a song off the album 530 (sometimes 0530), which (as far as I know) is the only album of the band 댄딜라이언 (or in English: Dandelion). The album
hasn't gotten much traction, which is a shame since it's so good. "Lucien Carr" is my favourite song from it, and after originally trying to scribe the lyrics from listening alone,
I luckily found them here and was able to correct the lyrics I misheard. Just like the lack of
easy-to-find lyrics, it's also impossible to find anything about the song itself, apart from this quote beneath that lyric video:
경계선을 바라보며 의문을 품곤 합니다. 그 선을 넘어가는 건 무척이나 어려우면서, 무척이나 쉬운 일입니다.
When translated to English using Google Translate (which I hate to use and has probably put errors in this translation), it apparently means:
I often stare at the boundary and question it. Crossing that line is both incredibly difficult and incredibly easy.
So what does this song mean, beyond the scope of boundaries? I couldn't find any interpretation of it, so I've decided to put my own interpretations below. This is all purely my perspective,
and may not be what the song is actually about. I also apologise for the lack of sources regarding what I say about Lucien Carr. All the information I have on him is from my memory of research I did when I
was obsessed with the Beat Generation as a teenager. For that reason (and the fact that a lot of this information was sourced from poets and writers, and, if anything,
they know how to lie), it may also be inaccurate.
The song appears to be from the perspective of Lucien Carr, a pinnacle figure of the Beat Generation yet one that is often forgotten for primarily two reasons: he did not want to be remembered,
and he did not write anything. Instead, he brought together some of the key figures of the Beat Generation. 'Lou was the glue', the saying goes. In the mid-1940s, 19-year-old Lucien Carr
attempted to join the navy and run away to France with Jack Kerouac, his friend and future Beat author. The pair failed to leave New York City. That night, Carr murdered a man.
That man was David Kammerer, who I believe Lucien Carr is addressing in this song. Kammerer was 14 years older than Carr, and had met him when Carr was a boy scout and he was a scout leader at one
of the camps Carr attended. Without a father figure to guide him, Carr's mother was at first accepting of Kammerer's interest in Carr, believing it to be coming from a fatherly, guiding place. She even
let him take 15-year-old Carr on a holiday alone. Eventually, when she realised the sinister intentions Kammerer had towards her son, she tried to distance the two, and Carr was moved from school to school across the country.
But each time, Kammerer followed. Carr was moved to Columbia University after sticking his head in a gas oven at his previous university. He claimed he did it as a display of art, but his mother believed
it was because of Kammerer. Despite this, Kammerer was the one to sign Carr out of the psych ward.
It's assumed Carr tried to leave for France to escape Kammerer. It's mentioned as his reason for depature in And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks, a retelling of this event by Kerouac and William S. Burroughs.
The book was written in 1948, but published in 2008, as Carr told Kerouac to hide it under the floorboards and demanded he never publish it. It was only published after Carr, the last of the first of the Beats, died.
The version of events as told in Hippos seems to be heavily alluded in the song. I believe it takes place the night Lucien Carr attempted to leave New York City, and the night he killed David Kammerer. Here is my line-by-line breakdown:
Defection of your patience
- That night, Carr claimed that Kammerer had made unwanted sexual advances on him. After years of stalking him, Kammerer was at the end of his patience, aware that he almost lost his pursuit of Carr to the sea,
and that he could be gone in any moment.
(kiss me more dirty, kick me more dirty)
- In Hippos, Kammerer tells Burroughs that Carr kissed him and then pushed him down. Their relationship was often described by onlookers as violent, with there being multiple instances of them having physical fights in public.
Blue nation of temptation
- This may be referring to the allure of the sea, which Carr sees as his only way to escape the years of torment under Kammerer's predatory affections.
(licking her money, lack of true story)
- Carr is described as constantly seeking money from people in Hippos, with Burroughs' character suggesting that Carr would sleep with Kammerer if he
gave him money. Additionally, in Hippos, Carr tells Burroughs that he killed Kammerer because he insisted on boarding the ship with him; Burroughs tells him to claim that Kammerer tried to rape him, as it would
reduce the prison sentence length. The reason behind Carr's killing has been widely debated since, with some believing Carr's court claims that Kammerer tried to assault him, and others believing Carr to have lied to reduce his sentence.
I'll cross the line
- Carr's lifestyle crossed the line of just about everything; the law, people's boundaries, morality.
Even hate you
- Perhaps, for Kammerer, the worst thing Carr could ever do was hate him.
Even hate you
Even hate you
I'll cross the line
- Carr's tendancy to cross the line with people was especially clear with Kammerer, who many claimed he enjoyed baiting as Kammerer would often do as he led. In Hippos, Carr makes Kammerer eat a spoon full of paprika and insists he drinks water to make
it worse. There is also a scene where Carr bites into a cocktail glass and chews the piece. Kammerer follows suit, without any prompting. Carr's attempts to cross the line was never seen as such to Kammerer. The only way he could cross the line was to hate him. That was the one
thing Kammerer didn't want Carr to do.
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Combine my old memories
- This could be referencing the seven years of Carr being groomed by Kammerer, and how this all accumulated into the night he killed him.
Stop messing around here
Awakening of predation
- Kammerer makes an advance on Carr.
Don't spit on my fool journal
- The murder of Kammerer and the subsequent media coverage was thought to be the reason Carr no longer liked being in the spotlight. Instead, he wanted to live a quiet life, even asking Allen Ginsberg to remove his name from "Howl". Before this,
he was set on being a poet, but it's said he struggled to write anything readable. This may be the 'fool's journal'; Kammerer indirectly spat on it with his death, extinguished the literary flame of Carr and left his work forever in the state of a
fool's musings--illiterate and incomplete.
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
I'll cross the line
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you
Even hate you-
- In the final moments of Kammerer's life, his worst fear was materialise. Carr didn't want him to follow him to France, he didn't like him, he didn't love him. He hated him. He wanted to be rid of him. Without the sea to flee to, without the ability to die, he only knew one way that he could be free.
Overall, the song is about crossing boundaries, using Lucien Carr as a demonstration of a man who pushed the most fragile boundary; that of morality. How easy it is to be primal, and how difficult, too. Carr killed Kammerer, finally escaping him, but his story will forever
be one of debate, and his life would from then on be dwindled in comparison to that of his literary friends. Before the murder, Carr's behaviour was fire, burning brightly for better or for worse, destroying the things around him, immortalising himself with the soot he left behind.
But with the murder, he became a spark. It inspired his friends, it spread the fire to them, but it could not sustain him. And so the death of Kammerer was the death of Carr; the line was crossed, and none could return.
If you have any thoughts on all this, let me know! I'm no expert on Lucien Carr or the Beats, and I'd also just love to hear other interpretations of this great song.